The Wolf's Reason
by ronandhermy
Summary: This is the chapter about Sam and Emily taken from my story Imprinted. I thought it could stand on its own. It tells the tale of how Emily got those scars and how she helped Sam get over his selfloathing.


**Disclaimer: No because if I did the world would be in chaos. **

AN: This would have been out sooner if the uploader hadn't been a bitch. Okay read away.

Sam and Emily

This had to have been the worst and best day of my life. I had been at Leah's house, beautiful Leah, when her cousin had come over. It wasn't going to be that big of a deal, meet some of the in-laws so to speak. It was supposed to be easy. I should have remembered that nothing is easy when you're a wolf.

Leah and I were pretty serious, both seniors in high school, and knowing what we wanted out of life. At least I thought I did, until I became a wolf, a protector. Then everything started to change.

Leah, the spitfire, had been getting suspicious of me not being home or at work and of not answering her phone calls. She thought I was with another girl and I couldn't very well tell her that I got hairy every now and then, she would think I was crazy. Sometimes I thought I was crazy.

I loved her but telling her that I was a wolf was one step that I was not willing to take. Besides she had been dropping hints that if I didn't tell her what was going on that she would ditch me. So it looked like I was going to be ditched pretty soon.

Anyway we were over at her house when the door opened and then I saw her for the first time and the world just shifted. Seeing this vision of copper skin, midnight hair and sparkling eyes nearly caused me to fall out of my chair.

My body felt like I was flying yet at the same time drowning. Drowning in the desire to do anything to make her happy, to have her smile at me always and never shed a tear except for in joy.

I saw a future with her. Of her carrying a bright eyed babe in her arms and turning to greet me, smiling a special smile meant only for me. I wanted that, I needed that and I knew that if I couldn't have her, make her happy, then my life wasn't worth living.

This all happened before I even knew her name.

Leah introduced her to me and I caught the name Emily. Emily, it was like music to be ears. It filled me with visions of sitting with her at the family table, of holding her close watching the stars and of lying in her arms. Emily Uley, it had a nice ring to it.

"Hi Sam," she said. Her voice was like honey and it held a warmth I had never felt before. She was holding out her hand. Dear God, a chance to touch this goddess? What had I done to be so blessed? "Pleasure to meet you."

"Believe me," I said, "The pleasure is all mine." Her hand was soft and fit perfectly in mine. When she pulled hers back I nearly snatched it back if only to have one more touch.

Leah was smiling, she didn't know what had just happened, I wasn't sure I even knew what had happened. I remembered some of the old stories of the protectors who when they found their life mate just knew. The stories never really described how one knew, it must have been different for everyone, but I had a feeling that what I had just experienced was what they meant by _knowing_.

I had to tell her, I owed her that much at least. For when she had been worried about a girl none of had been true until that moment.

I made the small talk then quickly made my excuses to leave. I needed to figure this out or at least try to. Leah looked hurt when I said good-bye but Emily just gave me a little smile and told me that she hoped that what was ever bothering me would resolve itself.

And I was struck by this. How Leah had only focused on herself and jumping to conclusions about where I was going while Emily had seen that there was something deeper, something more, but she didn't push, she just gave the support she could give.

And right then my mind was made up. I would end things with Leah, tonight.

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We met in the woods just in case Leah started screaming, which I knew she would, so she didn't wake the whole neighborhood. She walked towards me, dressed to kill in a tight red sweater and black jeans, but when I saw her all I could think was that she wasn't Emily.

We stared at each other for a long while trying to figure out how to make the first move. It was like chess only with less strategy and more blood sport involved.

Finally, after what seemed like and eternity, she asked in a practiced bored tone, "Are we going to talk about something or did you drag me all the way out here to look at me?"

I swallowed, this was going to be more difficult then I thought. "Leah, this is really difficult for me to say. It sounds stupid and wrong and I know you're probably going to hate me but I felt that I had to tell you. I owe you that much."

Her eyes flashed with worry and something more, something dangerous, "What is it? What haven't you been telling me Sam?"

"Leah, I don't love you. I mean I do but it's a shallow love, the kind of love that doesn't really go anywhere. I met someone and she, well she's perfect and I think, no I know that our relationship could be something that would last. Lord Leah this is difficult for me but I can't see you anymore. I just can't put you through that." I took a deep breath and let it out. I had said all that needed to be said.

Her eyes flashed with rage and anger. "So what, that's it? Thanks for the kicks but now I've found something better? We were shallow? Well you know what I think you're shallow you asshole. How could you do this to me? I love you, I LOVE YOU. And you would do this to me?" Angry tears started to stain her checks causing dark track marks of mascara to run down her face.

"Well I hope you and your little slut are very happy with each other. You filthy pig, I bet you've been screwing her when you ditched our dates. I bet she's a filthy whore. Do you have to pay her to get some? I bet you do. I bet you do you asshole."

I began to feel rage like I've never felt it before. It was all consuming and I started to shake. My emotions were a mix of anger and disgust. How could she say those things about Emily? (the anger) and How could I have ever felt any emotion besides disdain for this creature? (the disgust).

My angered silence just seemed to infuriate her more and she snapped, "Fuck you, Sam Uley, fuck you." Then she tore off into the woods leaving me there trying to contain my murderous rage. How could she speak those things about Emily? Her own cousin and she called her a whore.

Later I would realize that Leah had not know at the time that my love was Emily, but for now the anger is all that I could see.

And then _she_ walked out of the trees a beautiful vision of a vengeful goddess. She wore a baggy sweatshirt and ripped jeans and I found that I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. Except she was looking at me with anger. Why was she angry with me? Whatever it was I would do anything to make it better, I promise.

She practically growled when she said, "How could you do that? Leah really cared for you and then you just go off and break her heart. How heartless can you be? I mean did you really have to do it in the place you asked her on your guys's first date? I mean, really Sam, I know everyone can be a bit of bastard but this is just a new low."

This made me even more angry. Didn't she see that everything I was doing, I was doing for her? It was all for her, so that we could be together and raise our children. Why didn't she understand?

Didn't she see Leah for what she really was? A stuck up bitch who manipulative to get what she wanted. How could she not see, not understand? And the fact that she couldn't see began to make me even more angry. I had to make her see.

"Why would you do that?" she asked disbelief and hurt replacing the shocked rage. Looking into her eyes I couldn't take it, I had to tell her.

"For you," I snapped.

Her eyes widened and she seemed to shrink a little.

"No," she said, disbelief the only emotion present in her voice, "no that's not right. You don't love me, you barely know me."

"Tell me why it's not true," I demanded, my hands shaking in rage. Why couldn't she see that I would do anything for her? "Tell me why it's not true that I can't love you."

"No," she said again as if trying to convince herself, "You barely know me. This isn't right."

Why wouldn't she believe me? My anger was getting the best out of me but I didn't care, I had to make her see. I reached for her, determined to shake or squeeze my love on to her. To grab her shoulders and shake her until she realized I was telling the truth.

But as I reached for her I phased.

My hands became paws with claws that ripped into her pristine flesh, marring perfection. The blood flowed over me, matting my fur as she collapsed to the ground barely breathing.

No, no, no this was all wrong. It wasn't supposed to be this way. My heart was in my throat as the reality of what I had done surfaced. I couldn't breath, the grief and horror of what I had done washing over me until there was nothing left. And then…then I howled.

I howled like the world was ending, which for me it was. I howled as if my heart had been ripped apart and forced to remain separate for all of time. I howled for release, for someone to come and help me. Please somebody, anybody, help me, help her.

I couldn't phase back, my emotions were to strong for me to focus on something as insignificant as being human. So I howled and when I heard the familiar footfalls of Leah, I hide.

I watched as Leah discovered Emily and started to cry. I watched as she pulled out a cell phone and called 911 crying that her cousin had been attacked by a bear. I watched as my only love was taken away in an ambulance and as the blood that I had spilt seeped into the earth.

I don't know how long it took for me to phase back all I know is that I felt as if I had wandered to a plain that no one should ever wander to. I became a shadow of what I was and I realized for the first time how real of a monster I truly was. For only a monster would hurt the person they loved.

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In the hospital it smelled of new death and antiseptic causing my sensitive nose to recoil in disgust and horror. Someone as pure and good as Emily should not be in a place such as this. She should be where the wind could be felt and the smell of sea air would carry away all her troubles.

Entering her room was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I heard that she had had to undergo major surgery and would have the scars for the rest of her life. How could I have done this? This wasn't me; I'm not supposed to lose control. How could I have lost control? Oh God, she was going to hate me. She had to hate me.

Regardless I needed to see her, to try to ease her pain in anyway possible for what I had done. If she didn't want me around she deserved to tell me she never wanted to see me again, she had the right. The right to tell me to jump under a bus and I would gladly follow any command she issued.

I slid into her room and in the dim light it was difficult to make out her shape laying on a highly uncomfortable hospital bed with an IV drip dripping away. I approached her bed and oh gods how could I have done this?

The right side of her face had three long gashes held together by dark stitches. The doctors weren't sure if she'd ever regain full sight out of her right eye and the scars would always be there. This was my fault, I had caused her this pain and she may never lead a normal life again. How could I have done this?

"Sam?" she whispered, her voice tired from lack of sleep, "Is that you?"

My emotions got the best of me and the next thing that I knew I was kneeling with my head pressed into her stomach, crying, asking for forgiveness. The words "sorry" and "my fault" and "monster" escaped more then a few times but I'm not sure how much she understood considering my voice was muffled by her bedclothes.

I felt her hand, her small hand so apt to give, moving through my hair, almost petting it. And amidst my sobs of self-loathing she was whispering "it's all right, get it all out."

Here she was, the one who was in pain and yet she was comforting me. How could I have hurt her like this? This perfect being who was even more beautiful now then ever. Her goodness and kindness shining through even more brightly from her marred visage.

"Sam," she whispered again, "Stop crying. Someone is going to think that I'm murdering you or that I've died. Either way someone is going to barge in here and make you leave and I really need to talk to you. Something I can't do if you are thrown out."

I stopped by crying and reduced it to a few sniffles, turning my head to watch her gaze down on me. What could she possibly want to say to me? She should be screaming, throwing bedpans and telling me she never wanted to see me again. What was going on?

"Good," she said once my cries were all but memories. "Sam, I'm not mad at you. I'm a little upset that you didn't tell anyone about this but we'll work through it."

What was she saying? I didn't understand.

"What do you mean?" I crocked out.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to let you walk out of my life now that I've seen what you are? I may not be the smartest person but I do know that wolfs are monogamous and that our people are especially vested in the protectors. I don't plan on leaving you alone to wither away just because your mate wouldn't talk to you."

She couldn't possibly…one look at her face confirmed it she did mean it. She didn't hate me, she didn't. Right now she may not love me but that was all right she could grow to love me. Everything could be all right now. Everything would be all right.

"Sam," she whispered again, this time her voice hesitant not like the strong, confidant tone of just a few moments ago. "Will you stay with me tonight? Hospitals sort of give me the creeps and I just need someone to keep the nightmares away."

I complied almost instantly; she scooted over to the right side of her bed leaving plenty of room for me on the left side, the undamaged side. When she was comfortably settled into my arms I asked her why she had wanted me on the left side.

She giggled and said, "Silly, I can't see out of bandages." That made sense, her right eye was heavily bandaged but her left eye was bright and clear, sparkling with laughter. I grinned and nodded it made perfect sense, perfect Emily.

"You're warm," she muttered quietly before drifting off to sleep. I was probably one of the happiest people in the world at that moment; here I was with my girl who was in my arms all per her request. Then she snuggled in deeper to my chest as if trying to climb into my heart. Scratch that I was the happiest person to ever walk this earth, ever.

Looking at the bandages and the stitches that zigzagged through puckered flesh I knew I still had a lot to make up for. I had a lifetime of servitude and then some before there was even given the possibility for making this right. And I was starting right now, with her seeking warmth against the cold nightmares.

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When she came back to school I remembered I began to hate everyone. They would stare at her and make nasty fake sympathetic comments about her face all the while thanking the stars that it wasn't them. I even heard one girl say that now they would have a fair chance at getting a guy with Emily out of the way.

I nearly killed that girl but I didn't. Instead I ripped her tires to shreds, put inch long gashes across the paint job of her car and howled outside her window at night so that she couldn't sleep. And Emily, well Emily was great about everything.

She would laugh it off saying if she even wanted another boy I would never allow it. Damn straight, no one was going to touch my mate but me.

She was a junior so she was just working really hard at getting all her make up work in and making sure she hadn't fallen behind in class. I was a senior and had an easy schedule anyway so I spent my time helping her to get her grades up, even if my schedule hadn't been easy I would have done it anyway.

I threw myself into her life, into making her happy. It wasn't her parents who took her to the doctors anymore, that was me, nor was it her cousin Leah who she called when she was scared of being at the house by herself, it was me. She was coming to need me just as much as I needed her though I doubt she would ever reach my level. After all I needed her to breath.

I knew that there were still bridges to build and mountains to climb but I figured I could do that and more as long as Emily was by my side. As long as she was with me anything was possibly, anything could be.

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_AN: Dear God finally I got that out of my head. It took forever to get out on paper but oh well. I really like this one because well I like Sam and Emily. They make me happy. As do almost all the wolves. Except for Paul, he needs anger management classes. Reviews are love. _


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